For all of my adult life, I have had a fixation with international travel. At the time of this writing, I have been to 52 countries. Most of the time, I like to go to, what would be perceived as, fun places. You know, another nation's capital where you can take in all the most notable tourist sites, eat the local foods, drink the local drink, and rub elbows with your foreign human counterparts. These are among my most enjoyed experiences in life. Most of the time it is just plain...FUN. All forms of travel enrich your life in some way. But for me, it CAN'T always be a party. One really big element of travels that I find very meaningful is to, on occasion, be able to visit places where you can pay your respects to people who have suffered before us, and honor the history of what took place during some darker times.
About 2 weeks ago now I took a tour of the Auschwitz-Birkenau site in Poland. This isn't the first time that I have visited a place where genocide had taken place. Some years ago I was in Cambodia, and was able to visit the "Killing Fields" outside of Phenom Phen. What strikes me is how similar both of these experiences were for me, in the sense of what I perceived and how they made me feel. A truly curious thing to me.
I'm not going to spend any time here re-hashing the history. You likely know what Auschwitz was all about. There's all sorts of photos online, video walk-throughs, as well as countless documentaries that have been made which you really should watch at some point.
The most moving part of the experience, as I see it, is the emotional and existential things that you sense and feel as you walk through a place like that. I want to share just a little bit about what it was like for me.
Even before I got anywhere near the place, I felt this emotional weight come upon my soul. Just knowing that I was going there brought a chill to my insides. Believe it or not, the emotions really started to stir as I got on the van ride from the Krakow train station to head out to the site. As I approached the place, I just started to feel this ominous nature about it. I can't describe the method of perceptions it in any other way as only to say that it is not really what I was seeing with my eyes, but what I began to pick up on with my "insides". The second I stepped through the main gate of the facility, I just felt this negative energy "woosh" upon me. I grapple trying to find English words to convey this feeling. It's hard. I just felt this suck of positive life energy leaving me. I literally started to feel a tension. A bad feeling. A twisted knot began to form in my stomach. It did not desist until hours after leaving the place. But the whole time I was walking the grounds, I just had this inexplicable horrible feeling. It was as if I could pick up on this tremendous collective of physical human and soul suffering that has left an almost black hole like imprint upon this land. It's so hard to shake. I COULDN'T shake it off of me. It's like a blanket. Dark energy, I guess you could say...it lingers. For decades it has lingered, and I'm sure it will for many more years to come.
The experience was two fold to me. The energies sensed as I had described, but the emotions that follow soon there after were distressful. Depression, anger, hatred, anguish, anxiety, confusion. Just to name a few. I was just asking myself the whole time...how could this have happened? How could humans do this? How was this allowed to go on? Why? Why? WHY?! Frustration ensued soon thereafter as I appreciated the fact that there just were no answers to these questions.
Just the fact that we can be touched and moved by these sorts of things holds a lot of meaning for me. We are so much more than just physical beings. If we weren't I don't believe would could be influenced in such a way by these sorts of experiences in life. We do have a strange nature about our existence, indeed. How is it that I can feel the pain of another through such a medium? We have more than just 5 senses. Think about that for a second...
I believe there's a LOT going on all around us that we cannot see. But it is there. I'm certain. You can sense it. We are all connected in some strange way. I don't think we will every truly "get it" while we are on the Earth. One day we will though.
No comments:
Post a Comment