I fly aircraft for a living. Strangely enough, I have learned so much about life in general from all my years of doing this. There's ironically a lot of parallels that can be drawn between living your life and the art that is learning to fly things in the most skillful, professional, and efficient manner possible.
Why do you continue to want the things that don't want you? What is wrong with you? I can't really sugar coat this one. You've gotta STOP doing this. There is no way that I can ration to you that this is any sort of OK, in any stage of your life, in any regard of your life. I don't care what rebuttal you have. Just...NO. NO NO NO.
I've spent a lot of time these past few years really pondering some deep things about my life. I'd like to submit this thought to you today in hopes that it will jar your brain a little and at least make you take pause and contemplate a few things about your own life.
If you think that wars and battles are solely waged in the physical realm of our world on an occasional or temporary basis, think again. Make no mistake about it, there is a war going on every single day. This is the war taking place within your mind. A daily battle ensues each time you wake up and start your day. A war between the positive and negative. In every regard, a true showdown between good and evil.
This article might really rub some people the wrong way. I'm sorry if it does. That's not what I'm trying to do here. But I hope after reading this you can see through to the bottom and just absorb the deeper message for what it is. That's the essence. Most seem happy enough to live in a state of denial, and there certainly is no shame in that. You aren't really here to contemplate and understand all these things that I'll assert in this article. So as long as you are a good person, I don't really care what you do or don't believe in. I can still love and respect you.
I've always considered glass to be a remarkable material. It can be molded into any shape imaginable and can make some truly beautiful objects. Glass has a purity about it that I find interesting, at least in the beginning. Let's consider a vase. After it is freshly made, it is perfect. It has no blemishes. It's really something to behold and appreciate. However, over time, it's bound to get some dents, some dings, some chips, etc. That's to be expected. But it still holds it's shape. Still holds water. It's still a vase. Unfortunately though, occasionally the vase breaks all together. Perhaps it is dropped, or maybe someone takes a hammer to it and smashes the shit out of it. Into 1000 pieces. Ouch...
If you were one of those spoiled kids who's parents gave them a new car when you came of diving age, then I despise you. I had to bust my ass working since I was 14 to buy my piece o' shit 1985 Pontiac Trans Am. She was a real gem, let me tell ya. Just kidding, I don't hate you. After all, in a sense, we were all given a brand new "car" to cruise around in "down here".
Look at you. You goofy, soft, pudgy piece of shit. What the hell happened to you? You used to be slick, suave, expertly composed. Polished. A man of respect and intrigue. Now what? You act like a middle school boy. You used to be James Bond in the beginning. Where the fuck did that guy go to? Where did James bond go???
I don't think there has ever been a person on this planet that has succeeded in life without going through some measure of what I am about to talk about. Great success never comes about without some sort of rough patches, hard times, negative elements, etc. attached to it. It's just how it is. If you are someone who has found success without having some sort of trials and tribulations in the pursuit of such things, congratulations. You are a God.
One thing I have learned about life is you have got to get really good at dangling carrots out in front of your nose. In whatever way you learn to entice yourself, whatever way you mentally place yourself into the future, whatever means that you find work for you, you have got to get good at reminding yourself constantly that there is a reward for pushing though the suck.
How many times in our lives do we encounter things that just plain out suck? Gosh, I'd venture to say these sorts of things happen to all of us on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, I know the sky ain't falling every single day, but there's just little sucky things that happen to us ALL the time. Things that annoy us, things that cause us to have to change our plans, things that make us want to complain. Things that piss us off. It's really easy, perhaps natural for most of us, to react negatively when these things happen. Of course. Why wouldn't we? Sucky things...well, they just suck. They mess with our heads. However, what if there was an alternative though? What if there was another way? What if there was a way to flip the script on things that suck? Well...there is.
Guys, I've got to give you a little advice on how often to compliment women. Hell, the same principle could be applied for you ladies out there with regard to your man. A lot of the same psychology of receiving compliments applies to both sexes.
It's funny in life the small things we pick up from unexpected places which motivate us. One such thing that I wanted to share with you guys today comes from the Quentin Tarantino movie, Reservoir Dogs. If you've never seen it, it's a great film, a little twisted for some, but entertaining. There's a scene in the movie where all the characters are talking about their attitudes toward tipping waitresses. Steve Buscemi goes on this long rant about how he flat out does not tip ever. At the end of the dissertation, the mob boss Joe pipes up in this gruff voice that has forever stuck in my head, "NEVER MIND WHAT YOU NORMALLY WOULD DO...today you're gonna tip...throw in your dollar like everybody else!"
I'm a 38 year old guy at the time of this writing. I have been through the mud 1000x over dating in this past decade. I am CERTAIN, beyond the shadow of a doubt, if you have been in the dating pool at any point in time over the past ten years, this will resonate with you...LOUDLY. What I am about to set fourth to you is merely an observation that I have had. A guy on the internet just pointing shit out. Putting some context there and calling you all's attention to the fact that a cold war has been raging, for a long time now at that.
Perhaps this is a challenge for you too, should you dislike the present state of things out there in the dating sphere. Maybe you are ready to put down the guns, stop the madness, and call an end to the dating cold war between men and women that has been roaring on? Out of control. Colder and colder every year. Who knows where it will end? I dunno, I imagine at some point humans will just cease being in committed relationships all together? They do say some advanced societies operate this way, but is that what you really want? Are we there yet? Is that what you truly desire deep down? Maybe it is? Maybe it isn't?
Ah, scarcity peddlers. Sleazy salesmen. Snake oil merchants. Known by many names, but all share similar reasons as to why they act as they do. These types need be identified and approached with a weary caution in life. This article dovetails appropriately into the abundance mindset concept that we have discussed previously. Anyone that is trying to CONVINCE you that something is scarce in life may have ulterior motives, or perhaps not quite be what they say they are or actually have to offer what they say they do. If you find this to be the case in any of your dealings, you need to learn to move around them if necessary, or at least handle them appropriately.
Most unfortunately, I straight up come from a family of worriers. I love my family dearly, but God damn, this has surely caused some substantial stresses and unnecessary anguish for all involved over the years. Like all experiences in life however, these negative attributes have taught me some very big lessons. I'm going to make a case to you today as to why you should abstain from giving people what I call "food for speculation". This does two very important things. It reduces stress for these types of people plagued with overactive and worrisome minds, and in turn, it reduces your stress level in not having to deal with their gyrations.
So what is "food for speculation"? Well, anything that is not a hard fact is in my brain some form of mind food that someone else can consume and react to in many different ways, often adversely. Why is is this? Facts are definitive. Indisputable. The hard and real. Something that can actually be processed and dealt with accordingly due to it's nature of truth. Think of a calculator. If you give it actual numbers, it can derive meaningful data. On the other hand, we have this "mind food" that I speak of. Things that are not defined. To be determined. The what-ifs in life. The unknown nature of a statement. To the worrisome individual, this is the launch point for their brains to think up all sorts of wacky possibilities of what this might equate to. Think of the calculator again, if you don't give it good numbers to crunch, the thing doesn't know what to do. It starts smoking. It can't figure out shit. It melts down on the inside. That's how people with worrisome natures go through life.
One aspect of life I've always found it hard to combat is dealing with haters. I don't care who you are, where you are, and what you are doing with your life, you are gonna cross paths with haters. Unfortunately, you will continue to have run ins with them the rest of your time on the Earth. Yes it sucks, but that's just the way this rock operates. So, it behooves you to do at least a little bit of mental fortification at some point so you can thwart these haters with ease.
This article piggy-backs on the last one that I wrote in the sense that I am mostly making the focus on these times in our lives when we get people hating on us for pursuing our passions. You don't have to be an A list celebrity either. Every person at some point in their lives, no matter how big or how small their pursuits, will catch heat from assholes with nothing better to do with their time than to throw hate your way. Judgements, ridicule, humiliation, banter, etc. All these little things, you will see and hear this hate at some point when you are out there working on your passions.
We have all been given them. These little deep rooted seeds that were bestowed upon us at some point in life. Maybe we are born with them inside of us? Maybe they miraculously spawn inside of us during our days spent on the Earth? Who knows. But there is one thing that I am certain of, we all have some form of these inside of us. Whether or not we choose to acknowledge them, that's another story and some food for thought also. Maybe this article will nudge you into exploration mode? I hope, especially if you feel like you've been hampered by those around you...
Whatever the case may be, what I am talking about here are your passions in life. Those little seeds of amazing that were given to you so that you might examine, explore, cultivate, bask in the enjoyment of and allow to radiate out into the world around you. I'll say that again, YOU WERE MEANT to share your passions with the world, whatever they might be.
I'll never forget this pizza joint my parents used to take me and my sisters to when I was a little kid. I still remember the name. Primo's Pizza. It was a big deal for us to go there on a Friday or Saturday night as a family. It was just something fun for us all to do. Something we looked forward to. Sometimes it was used as a reward for making good grades at school. We freaking loved the place. Funny thing is, the pizza had nothing to do with it. I could have cared less. The true appeal for me was this little arcade area they used to have in the far back of the restaurant. I was a child of the 80's. If you weren't around for this era, this probably wont mean much to you, but for any of you out there that can relate, you know the feeling when your parents would give you a handful of quarters so you could go back there and knock yourself out playing games or doing whatever. These coins. They had an immense value. You knew you had to spend them wisely...
I think for many of us, we have a way of attaching a negative connotation when we hear the word "challenge". We often think of hardship, adversity, opposition, and all sorts of other similar words that make us "think" that we hate the challenges in life. But...do we really? Do you really, sincerely think that deep down in your soul? Do challenges really suck? I want to contort your way of thinking a little bit today...
I want you to think about something as I begin this post. The universe? It's infinite. It is limitless. It had no beginning and it has no end. It is vast and expansive. It's freaking gigantic beyond your wildest belief. Your human brain isn't capable of really fully understanding this. But...it's large. Now consider this...there is ONLY ONE YOU. That's right. There has never been another you before and there will never be another. Your soul is completely unique. There is only ONE OF YOU in this whole insanely huge universe we all play in. Can you imagine? IDK about you...but this just blows my mind. Give that a second to sink in....
Now then, let's begin. Emulating vs Impersonating. There is a big difference, and I wanted to talk about that a little today.
A sense that is vital for you to cultivate in life is to get good at recognizing when people are trying to manipulate you. It's not always so cut and dry, is it? We've all had our fair share of times where we've been duped, conned, tricked, swayed...whatever...into doing things we might not have otherwise done. It sucks. You realize it on the back end. But if you can get good at this recognition skill, you can watch out for yourself all the more readily, and not have to be the victim of the world's master manipulators.
You really have to sit back and consider how you get manipulated in the first place. I want to lay out a couple things for your consideration. Maybe this will help you moving forward.
I heard a great analogy the other day that provoked some thought within me. Simple message, but I liked it and wanted to pass it along.
Much like the heat emitted from a wood burning stove, so emanates the warmth of our great successes in life. But how many of us practice a bit of myopia in our pursuits? We sit there, staring in wonder at the stove, wishing, hoping, wanting to feel the heat. We don't want to do any work though. We just want the thing to throw off heat. How ridiculous is this? You sit there and ponder. Why haven't I found success? Why isn't this stove making any heat? You stand up, kick the thing, and walk off muttering a few obscenities cursing God or your dog or whoever.
One thing that I have noticed about myself, is the fact that there are definitive time windows during the day when I am at my most creative. A time when things just seem to fall out of my soul in an effortless fashion. I am almost able to think more readily with an alternative part of my brain. The part of my brain where all the gold resides. Anytime I am trying to create something new, it is just a well accepted personal fact that I do my best work during this identified time period. I want to get that gold out of there. But not just any gold, I want the best of the best. The best gold that I can possibly mine outta there. I want that stuff, and lots of it. And I don't wanna have to feel like I'm working that hard for it either. In fact, I want to have fun while I'm doing it, and I want to do it because it is something that I enjoy. I don't want it to be a forced action. I want this for you too. Here is one thing to know that might help you out a little if you work like me.
I want you to think back to your childhood for a moment. Do you remember the way you felt on Christmas Eve night? The butterflies in your stomach. Looking forward to the next day with a deep felt longing for it to come already? You literally COULD NOT WAIT to wake up in the morning you were so excited. You could barely contain yourself. God damn...when was the last time you were that excited about something in your life? Be honest with yourself. What was the last thing that made you feel like a little kid again in such regard? Or how about this, if you can't recall the last instance in which you felt that way, what sort of thing could you experience in your life if you were able to wave a magic wand and have it tomorrow, that would bring on such emotion?
One profound tool that I have learned to implore in my life is the power to remove my mind from my own body and place it into the noggin of my hero's. Once there, I am quickly able to ration my way through the toughest of times and make some REALLY good decisions about my life. I want to describe this a little more to you, and perhaps you'll be able to use this in your life one day. It's some powerful stuff.
I want you to think deeply. I want you to try to identify someone in your life who you believe is a true blue, thoroughbred, unquestionably pure...HERO.
Next, I want you to try to think about their attributes. I want you to think in specifics. What is it exactly about them that makes you look up to them. What are the things that make you perceive them in this light?
Something that I have observed about life is that when they were handing out the "goods" up in heaven before you came down here, they didn't dole them out equally. I have NO IDEA why this is but I can guarantee you there is some reason for this. Whatever it is, that's way above my head and something that I can't even fashion a guess other than to speculate that they are a result of your performance in a past life time? Anyways, I digress...
A plain fact of life on the Earth is the reality that we were not all created equal, as non PC as that's gonna sound. All women were not naturally granted the same type of intoxicating beauty, and all men were not naturally bestowed the same power of tongue to deliver their charisma. The good news is that even if we weren't given these gifts when you were born, you certainly can develop them over the course of your life. Whatever the means you've had to acquire them, the point is something further than this.
