First Date Standards

 

Getting to know a new person is an interesting process. What a weird time. The first date in particular hopefully is casual and low intensity. Keeps the pressure off of both parties. Something easy should be in order the first time you meet someone under romantic pretenses. In the spirit of just that notion, I hope what I'm about to talk about resonates with you guys out there.

I used to not pay much regard to this principle, but at this point in life the character analysis starts before I even show up in person on a 1st date. Furthermore, I've adopted some personal 1st date standards that I don't break, and hope that you would too at some point. You can do whatever you want, but I feel like at some juncture in your life any rational man would arrive at these same conclusions. Of course, this will probably come after years of bullshit and countless hours and dollars wasted away. Flushed down the toilet. Might as well have not ever happened. Yeah, that sucks. I can tell you this first hand.

How to Never Get Rejected Again

 

Gee, wouldn't that be nice? Never getting rejected by a woman ever again? Well, that's a pretty tall claim, but what I will guarantee you is this, you'll rarely get rejected if you listen and apply what I'm saying here.

I wrote an article previously talking about "cold approaching" women. This is in specific reference to that. HERE I've got no show stoppers for you here. No magical potion. No mind tricks for you to play. No, life does not work that way, and certainly the love game does not. Here's the deal guys of how to make this so:

The Motivation Barometer

 

We all experience periods of wavering motivation to do things in life. That, I believe is not always attributed to plain laziness, but something more. Something very important that I feel you should tune in to and perhaps alter your life based upon.

In my opinion, your motivation, or lack there of, is a direct reflection of your level of passion that you have for something. If you get up in the morning and have a dread to do something, this is a VERY big indicator that you no longer have the love for doing this act, whatever it might be. Think about it, if you truly enjoyed something with all your heart, you'd almost go to bed eager to wake up as early in the morning to get back to doing that thing, whatever it is. Like that feeling on Christmas Eve. You just could not wait to get up in the morning, you were so excited.

The Succulent Salesman

 

One of THE MOST important mindsets that you will need to develop in life is the ABUNDANCE mindset. That is, the deep acknowledgement and acceptance of the fact that we live in a world of abundance which exists in an infinite universe, one that has no end, and furthermore offers abundance in every form imaginable. Beyond your widest dreams you might say. Limitless abundance, all just there...for you.

As it relates to us humans here on Earth, you need to start looking at EVERYTHING through an eye of abundance. In every aspect of your life, you need to always remember that abundance exists. As you go through life, the manner at which you approach your jobs, your friends, your lovers, your everything gets handled very differently depending on where your mindset is as it relates to this abundance.

Your Inner Being is Pissed

It is my belief that we have a duality about the true nature of what each and every one of us is as a being. We have the external, physical, tangible, machine body that we walk amongst the masses with here on Earth. Then we have the internal, the soul, the essence of who you REALLY are. Your inner being. Your spiritual self if you are comfortable thinking on those terms. If not, well, how about you just call him/her the "voice inside your head" if you feel better about it. Your intuitions. Your instincts. Whatever you want to call it, that's fine, but it's all the same at the end of the day.

Whatever the case, some truths hold themselves evident. NOBODY knows you better than your inner being...nobody. Your inner being knows right from wrong. And your inner being ALWAYS has your best interests in mind. These are facts.

The Intermediary Periods

 

The "intermediary periods" in life? What the hell are those? Well, those are the time periods where 90% of your life occurs. You know, all that yardage in between the goal posts you've set up for yourself.

Life just sucks until your next vacation, huh? You can't do this that or the other until you land that new job? You are waiting for just the right time to do_____. Wtf is wrong with you? Your life exists in the NOW. Do it now. What are you waiting for? You're just gonna squander all this time you've been given until (insert whatever lame excuse you've got here)?

The Grandeur of it All

We all have those periods in life where we feel consumed. Stress, anxiety, emotional storming. These things all add up and certainly put a heavy weight on our souls. I think the thing that most of us would agree on is the sad fact that MOST of the time the sorts of things that are triggering this negativity to occur don't mean jack shit in the grand scheme of things. 

 I have found it helpful to have small mechanisms to serve as a mental/emotional levelers, or more specifically to remind us of this reality that in the great, grand, humongous universe that we live in, your woes are insignificant. 

The Dignity Exchange

Something we all deal with in life is the element of dignity exchange. This exchange occurs in many settings, but in my mind this bears particular pertinence in the matters of our professional life, and the relations that we have with our peers, both romantically and in the instance of friendships or family ties. At times we find ourselves exchanging a piece of our dignity to get what we want.

The internet will tell you what you want to hear...learn to listen to your within

 

I think there was a point in time where the internet might have actually had some more focused and expert advice on it. Or at least maybe it was easier to sift and navigate your way to the best answers. So much has changed though. The internet is littered with such a range of intelligence these days. Just roll with me here, the message of this article is something more. 

So many times, we go to the internet to try and find answers to our questions, expertise to guide us, or whatever under the sun that we are desiring to know. Of course we would, it's so easy. The internet does connect us instantly to billions of other minds in the snap of a finger. Surely there is some good in this. I'm not denying that. But you've got to be careful, right? 

The RIGHT mindset when you "cold approach" a woman...

Ah, the cold approach. One of the most challenging and nerve wracking things for us males to do. To walk up to a complete stranger and engage them in hopes for some meaningful moments that can translate into further contact and perhaps one day long down the line a substantive relationship. What a heavy thing to face. And needless to say, these things would be easy to do if success were a guarantee, but as we all well know, it is NOT. Furthermore, we know in the back of our minds how painful rejection can be. All these elements lead up to an intensive mental battle that must be overcome if we are to make the cold approach in the first place and execute it smoothly and present ourselves as best as we possibly can in this very awkward moment. After all, no matter how much that other person might be feeling you and no matter how well you present, the shit is just awkward. There's no two ways about it.

Your Loss?

Do you REALLY mean that when you say it? I mean, really, really, really deep down, feel that in your soul?

Rejection is a part of life. It just is. That job you really wanted. That hot romantic flame. That person you thought was your best friend. Public perception of your hard formed creation. All of them and then some will say to you at some point....Nah, you're not good enough for me. I'll pass. REJECTED. Ugh...a bullet hole right through your gut. That shit hurts.

This element of life is hard to face. One of the coping mechanisms we are taught to use is to respond with a quick and simple phrase. "Well, that's too bad. Your loss." It makes you feel good for a moment. But how many of you utter these words, then start feeling shitty again almost as soon as the words are done rolling off your tongue?

They can't just look good, they actually have to BE good to you too

 

This one is written from a male perspective. But the same principle could be applied for the ladies out there who might be reading this. For us men, you are all probably well aware that a woman's looks can be like kryptonite. Hell, even at times very strong willed men succumb to the undeniable powers that come from a woman whom they find irresistibly attractive. We all have our "type" and damn sure our moments of weakness.

For you ladies, let's touch on the alternative characteristics. Sure looks have something to do with your psychology, but more of your man kryptonite comes from his status/power/influence/charisma, whatever you want to call it.

Online Dating Strategy for Guys

 

Life isn't exactly fair for most guys in the online dating realm. Let's just be real, the playing field will NEVER be level in the sense that girls who date online will always have way more guys hitting them up than guys have girls hitting them up. It's just the way the numbers are. Deal with it.

What I am about to share with you is just one approach you can take to prevent burn out, frustration, and disappointments when it comes to your online dating. If you are reading this article you have probably already wasted countless hours of your life with online dating. Stop doing that. You need to get more efficient at this because, hopefully, you've got way more important shit in your life to be doing.

Duolingo on the Toilet

I have always sought out ways to learn new things, practice, or improve upon skills. There was a period of time where I was playing a lot of games on my cell phone. Mindless, stupid, time killers. Nothing else. I started thinking, what the heck am I doing? Why am I not using this time more productively. Instead of crushing imaginary cyber candies, why am I not learning something new or at least being productive? I decided to brush up on my foreign language skills. You know, something that actually has some value and can be used in the real world. Something that actually matters in my life? Ok great, I will now dedicate some small amount of time each day on my cell phone to doing just that.

Types of Friends to Get Rid Of

We've all got a few of 'em hangin' around. You're better off if you toss em in the trash:

You Get the Opposite of the Way You Act

 

I'm not gonna argue the right or wrong, debate the merits of each persons modus operandi, or try to convince anyone of the way that males and females "should" act in a relationship. I think in this present day and age, what would have previously been considered "traditional roles" in a romantic partnership seem to piss a lot of people off. So I'm not even gonna go there. People get so butt hurt so readily if you try to broadly attach any sorts of relationship behaviors to either sex. And honestly, that's really not what I am getting at in this article. So I am not going to use the words feminine or masculine at all. Let's just say, dominant and submissive. I'll leave it completely up to you to assign these words to whatever side of a relationship that you want.

A Good Question to Really Get to Know Somebody

These days I find so much more enjoyment from having an in depth conversation with somebody than some bullshit surface level exchange. Even with people that I have just met, I like to dive deep, go right in. Get below the surface. Waste no time. As you age, you tend to cut the crap and become more direct with people.

The Political Incubus/Succubus

 

One of THE most annoying parasites that you will encounter in your life will be the Political Incubi/Succubi.  What is this inferior life form? Typically these words imply beings that engage in sexual exploitation to suck the life energy out of you for personal gain or survival. In this instance, I am paralleling the process of life suck, but this is not accomplished through intercourse, but through an unsolicited political discussion. Make no mistake about it. They are at a deficit of positive life energy, and they are looking for a new host to feed on. They are not happy with the current politics of society, and in efforts to make themselves feel better, they are gonna try to sap some energy outta you.

Walking in Death's Shadow

For all of my adult life, I have had a fixation with international travel. At the time of this writing, I have been to 52 countries. Most of the time, I like to go to, what would be perceived as, fun places. You know, another nation's capital where you can take in all the most notable tourist sites, eat the local foods, drink the local drink, and rub elbows with your foreign human counterparts. These are among my most enjoyed experiences in life. Most of the time it is just plain...FUN. All forms of travel enrich your life in some way. But for me, it CAN'T always be a party. One really big element of travels that I find very meaningful is to, on occasion, be able to visit places where you can pay your respects to people who have suffered before us, and honor the history of what took place during some darker times.

Your Life is a Pond Full of Scum

 

I was taking a walk through the city park the other day, and I came across this little lonely duck pond. For some reason, the mass of scum and bird shit that had accumulated on top of the water spoke to me. It said, “this is your life right now”. Ouch...well that’s not very nice, Mr. Pond. But I think I see the point you are trying to make here. Thanks for the kick in the ass, I’ll see ya later…

STAGNATION. One of my most despised words. Stagnation. Ugh. Yuck. It just sounds gross. I can almost smell it as I type these words. Disgusting. This right here...this is a big problem in life.

The Backdrop Here

Well, here we are. Post #1. Where to even begin...

This project is one that I've wanted to tackle for quite some time now. I have had many, many projects throughout the course of my life. Some were very meaningful, however, most were simply...not. For all of us, how much time in our lives do we spend doing things that wont mean jack shit in the grand scheme? Do we do things that will leave a lasting impression on the Earth? Do we do things that will actually help anyone except for ourselves? I think every human asks these sorts of questions of themselves at some point in their lives. What am I doing to help people? What am I doing that will leave a lasting impression? A legacy? How has my time on the Earth contributed to a greater good? Have I wasted all of my time here, or have I actually done something good? Like I mean REAL, TRULY, DEEP DOWN good?