The Dating Cold War

 

 

I'm a 38 year old guy at the time of this writing. I have been through the mud 1000x over dating in this past decade. I am CERTAIN, beyond the shadow of a doubt, if you have been in the dating pool at any point in time over the past ten years, this will resonate with you...LOUDLY. What I am about to set fourth to you is merely an observation that I have had. A guy on the internet just pointing shit out. Putting  some context there and calling you all's attention to the fact that a cold war has been raging, for a long time now at that.

Perhaps this is a challenge for you too, should you dislike the present state of things out there in the dating sphere. Maybe you are ready to put down the guns, stop the madness, and call an end to the dating cold war between men and women that has been roaring on? Out of control. Colder and colder every year. Who knows where it will end? I dunno, I imagine at some point humans will just cease being in committed relationships all together? They do say some advanced societies operate this way, but is that what you really want? Are we there yet? Is that what you truly desire deep down? Maybe it is? Maybe it isn't?

That might be a further topic for future reflection, but either way, if you are reading this right now, you are probably sick and tired of the bullshit. The "game". The cold war that IS dating these days. It's highly dysfunctional if you think about it. Both sides playing the "game" harder and harder, dirtier and dirtier, nastier and nastier, colder and colder. All the while getting further and further with each passing experience from the very thing that they've set out looking for in the first place. LOVE. Or have you all forgotten that? Or are you just dating now to have fucked up and hurtful experiences, or worse yet, toy with others emotions and their desires for love simply for your own amusement, or to feed that bottomless pit of an insecure ego you've got?

Make no mistake. BOTH sides are guilty here. That's right, I'm pointing the finger at ALL OF YOU. Men and women alike. Each and every one of you is guilty of at some point in time fueling the fire that feeds this ridiculous situation. (Yes me too) Every little thing you do that that is disingenuous and free from integrity is procuring the "problem" and making things worse. This cold war will go on forever if you never wise up to this reality. All these little stupid ass dating strategies, rules, algebraic calculus of what actions you're gonna take next based on what the other side lobs at you, "revenge tactics", manipulation, lies, blatant disregard for the other person...yup...all that. It's SHIT. Doesn't matter how big or small the actions. How egregious or minor. It's all the same in the end. It's just shit, and you know it. Is there an ounce of genuineness or decency left in your body? Or are you now a computer program? You just act free of emotion and regardless of righteousness? Completely absent of any semblance of integrity in your actions? It's no wonder things are so messed up given the fact that this is now the norm for most people out there. Simply put, people do all sorts of truly messed up things to each other all in the name of dating. "All is fair in love and war" you say? Well, I don't buy that, and I restate that it is this very mentality that has got you to your current point of frustration.

I have a simple question for you guys and girls out there. Do you like the present state of things? Do you like where things are at? Do you enjoy being a part of this cold war?

Ok, well, if the answer to that is no, the next question I have for you is this: Are you a part of the problem or a part of the solution?

If we have come this far, you're probably whimpering and crying...but Mike! It's so hard! I just don't know what to do! Everybody else is out there acting this way so I have to also. I just don't know how to fix this problem. It's just so complicated. Well, no, it really fucking isn't. I'll give you the answer in 1 word:

Integrity

That's it. That's all you've really gotta remember. That one little word has the power to place you on the solution side of the coin vice the problem side. I'm not saying that this is a problem that any of us are gonna be able to solve overnight, or in the next 1000 years even. I'm not naive enough to think that. But my hope is that we can at least crack the needle. Shit, maybe we can just get the pendulum swinging back in the right direction. The truth is that most humans are on the Earth in the first place to learn about integrity and perhaps because they lack it in the 1st place, so this will always cause an issue with dating. But if I can just call a few people at a time away from the dark side of dating with deceit, we can move things in a better direction. I truly believe that's what we all want at the end of the day. An end to the COLD WAR. It sucks. You've lost years of your "good" age window because of it. I can see those grey hairs popping out of your head as I type this. 

I'm not gonna bother writing out a list of the do's and don'ts when you are out there dating. I think you know deep down what I am talking about here though. You know the very second you are "doing somebody" dirty. However, I am just gonna put it to you as simply as I can. These are the only "instructions" I'm gonna give you. This is the gold nugget.

Act with integrity when you are out there dating.

Walk away when you sense a lack of it.

That's it guys. You get back what you give. You may not think it, but your integrity will carry you a long ways in your dating if you actually exercise it. So stop acting like an idiot and treating people like shit. And stop fucking with these toxic morons who don't seem to get this concept. You are only fueling the inferno by acting free of integrity and engaging with those who do the same out there. YOU are the reason for the cold war.

I'll leave you with this. Fuck your excuses. There ARE still people out there who do date with integrity. Make it a point to find them. They are there.  

You need to become one 1st though...