The Glass Vase

I've always considered glass to be a remarkable material. It can be molded into any shape imaginable and can make some truly beautiful objects. Glass has a purity about it that I find interesting, at least in the beginning. Let's consider a vase. After it is freshly made, it is perfect. It has no blemishes. It's really something to behold and appreciate. However, over time, it's bound to get some dents, some dings, some chips, etc. That's to be expected. But it still holds it's shape. Still holds water. It's still a vase. Unfortunately though, occasionally the vase breaks all together. Perhaps it is dropped, or maybe someone takes a hammer to it and smashes the shit out of it. Into 1000 pieces. Ouch...

In this case, the vase is forever changed. In a profound way at that. Much more so than the dents, dings, chips or even a crack here or there. No, when the vase is broken, that's it. No matter what you do to it, no matter how much super glue and tape you try to use to put the thing back together, it will never again be the same. No matter what efforts you set forth, you're always gonna have a broken vase. Sorry. It may be quasi functional. But, never again. NEVER will it ever be the same beautiful vase that it was in the beginning. It's too bad. A damn shame...

Folks, this euphemism I'm drawing here is one as it relates to your romantic relationships in life. The vase is your relationship. Doesn't even have to be a serious relation. When you come together with another person under romantic pretenses, you are still fashioning some form of union. A loose union? A strong one? Either way you are coming together to make something ideally beautiful between the two of you. In the beginning it's nice and pretty. It's perfect. But let's be realistic here, over time the predictable course of action ensues. The vase accumulates its fair share of war wounds. That's one thing. Perhaps those add character, uniqueness, and proves the strength of the vase through all it has endured over time. A beautiful thing in and of itself I would say. This is YOUR unique vase. Something to be proud of.

However, there is a very clear cut difference between this sort of damage and when the vase is actually broken. This happens when either side unilaterally, or perhaps through a mutual decision, decides to end things. A real break, i.e., you are no longer an item or seeing each other romantically. It sucks. Just like the vase being obliterated. The union is broken.

Often times in life, we deal with situations where someone wants to "come back" after a break. Sure is tempting, isn't it? Comfortable perhaps, familiar, something that you think you may want. Not wanting to "throw away" what you "had"? But reality sets in at some point as you come to the realization that no matter what sort of patch work is done, the relationship will NEVER be the same again. Ever. The trust, compromised. The faith, forever cast into question. The feelings, tainted by lingering resentment. The list goes on and on. It really blows. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish you could just wipe the slate clean. Return the vase to it's original condition. But...you just...can't. You get one go with your vase.

I think sometimes in life you have to go through these things yourself to truly learn what I mean here. I won't knock anybody for getting back with a prior flame. I've done it. Multiple times at that. From both angles. I'm just sharing what I've seen in my life in hopes that will stick with you and add some perspective should you ever have to go through something like this. These are the facts of life as I've come to know them. Here's a couple things I'll always remember.

#1-Be really damn sure of what you are doing before you make a break. There is NO GOING back. Only attempts at repair, but whatever you fashion in the aftermath is NEVER going to be the same as it was in the beginning.

#2-You're not a revolving door. You are a person. A human. A soul. A being of immeasurable value. People don't get to just come and go freely as they please. Don't allow for this to happen. A break is a break. I'd rather go through life with no vase than a broken one.

#3-It hasn't ever been worth it to me in the past to get back with a prior love. It never worked out. Returning to that old broken super glued vase just always sucked. I was never truly happy with it. I wish I hadn't wasted my time.

When it's broken, it's over. That's it. No going back. We live in a world of endless abundance. Go out and find you a new vase. There are shit tons of em out there. Go have a fresh start with someone else. Make a beautiful vase with a new person. See how long you can go without breaking it. I think that would bring you more fulfillment and happiness than going through the rest of your life with an ugly vase that's been duct taped together. 

Oh, the break made you stronger, huh? Made you realize how much you loved each other? Life and love ain't perfect? Well, go for it then. Have fun with that. Only you get to decide if it was worth it or if you are sincerely, deep down in the dark depths of your heart, happy with your re-booted relationship after the highest form of rejection has been exercised. I say you're living in scarcity, lack true self love, and are fearful of the abyss.

At the end of the day though, you've gotta do what you gotta do. Do what you feel is right for your situation.

Who am I to rob you of your God given right to learn things on your own by doing?